A team of highly trained monkeys ..

After hitting a wrong URL on You Tube:

500 Internal Server Error

Sorry, something went wrong.

A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with this situation.

If you see them, show them this information: ...

Honest Achmed's Request

User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-GB; rv:1.9.2.16)
Gecko/20110319 Firefox/3.6.16
Build Identifier:

This is a request to add the CA root certificate for Honest Achmed's Used Cars
and Certificates. The requested information as per the CA information
checklist is as follows:

1. Name

Honest Achmed's Used Cars and Certificates

2. Website URL

www.honestachmed.dyndns.org

3. Organizational type

Individual (Achmed, and possibly his cousin Mustafa, who knows a bit about
computers).

4. Primary market / customer base

Absolutely anyone who'll give us money.

5. Impact to Mozilla Users

Achmed's business plan is to sell a sufficiently large number of certificates
as quickly as possible in order to become too big to fail (see "regulatory
capture"), at which point most of the rest of this application will become
irrelevant.

6. CA Contact Information

achmed@honestachmed.dyndns.org

Technical information about each root certificate

1. Certificate Name

Honest Achmed's Used Cars and Certificates

2. Certificate Issuer Field

Honest Achmed's Used Cars and Certificates

3. Certificate Summary

The purpose of this certificate is to allow Honest Achmed to sell bucketloads
of other certificates and make a lot of money.

4. Root Certificate URL

www.honestachmed.dyndns.org/cert.der

5. SHA1 fingerprint to 10. Signing key parameters

See the certificates.

11. Test website URL - 14. OCSP (OCSP is required for EV enablement)

https://www.honestachmed.dyndns.org / www.honestachmed.dyndns.org/chain.p7s /
www.honestachmed.dyndns.org/crl.der / www.honestachmed.dyndns.org/ocsp.asp

15. Requested Trust Bits

All of them of course. The more trust bits we get, the more certificates we
can sell.

16. SSL Validation Type

All of them. The more types, the more certificates we can sell.

CA Hierarchy information for each root certificate

1. CA Hierarchy

Honest Achmed plans to authorise certificate issuance by at least, but not
limited to, his cousin Osman, his uncles Mehmet and Iskender, and possibly his
cousin's friend Emin.

2. Sub CAs Operated by 3rd Parties

Honest Achmed's uncles may invite some of their friends to issue certificates
as well, in particular their cousins Refik and Abdi or "RA" as they're known.
Honest Achmed's uncles assure us that their RA can be trusted, apart from that
one time when they lent them the keys to the car, but that was a one-off that
won't happen again.

Verification Policies and Practices

1. Documentation: CP, CPS, and Relying Party Agreements

Honest Achmed promises to studiously verify that payment from anyone requesting
a certificate clears before issuing it (except for his uncles, who are good for
credit). Achmed guarantees that no certificate will be issued without payment
having been received, as per the old latin proverb "nil certificati sine
lucre".

2. Audits

Achmed's uncles all vouch for the fact that he's honest. In any case by the
time he's issued enough certificates he'll be regarded as too big to fail by
the browser vendors, so an expensive audit doesn't really matter.

3. SSL Verification Procedures
4. Email Address Verification Procedures
5. Code Signing Subscriber Verification Procedures

See (1).

Response to Mozilla's CA Recommended Practices

Honest Achmed promises to abide by these practices. If he's found not to abide
by them, he'll claim it was a one-off slip-up in procedures and that policies
have been changed to ensure that it doesn't happen again. If it does happen
again, he'll blame it on one of his uncles or maybe his cousin, who still owes
him some money for getting the car fixed.

Reproducible: Always
Source: https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id=647959

Bestes Denglish Forever

"Ich habe vielleicht etwas Weltverbesserndes. Mein Leben ist eine giving-story. Ich habe verstanden, dass man contemporary sein muss, das future-Denken haben muss. Meine Idee war, die hand-tailored-Geschichte mit neuen Technologien zu verbinden. Und für den Erfolg war mein coordinated concept entscheidend, die Idee, dass man viele Teile einer collection miteinander combinen kann. Aber die audience hat das alles von Anfang an auch supported. Der problembewusste Mensch von heute kann diese Sachen, diese refined Qualitäten mit spirit eben auch appreciaten. Allerdings geht unser voice auch auf bestimmte Zielgruppen. Wer Ladyisches will, searcht nicht bei Jil Sander. Man muß Sinn haben für das effortless, das magic meines Stils."

–- Jil Sander in einem Interview der Frankfurter Allgemeinen Zeitung (vom 22. März 1996).

National Punctuation Day

It's September 24, 2010. Celebrate the seventh annual National Punctuation Day! Unfortunately it's only celebrated in the United States.

Also consider supporting to add the sarcasm punctuation mark to the repertoire of punctuation mark.

One of those buzzwords

Oh, "meltdown." It's one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an "unrequested fission surplus." -- Charles Montgomery "Monty" Burns in "Homer Defined" (8F04)

For the Win

Presidental Debate & Beyond

Last week I was in the USA (job-wise), and took the liberty to watch the second presidental candidate debate between Barak Obama (D) and John McCain (R) in order to see what was the big deal about these debates. And I was sorely disappointed, in fact it was quite boring .. I would have expected a more livelier debate when it comes down to the most powerful political office in the world. It always seemed that both candidates shied away from any statement that might offend (even so small) group.

I think I'll stick to the VP candidate debate as witnessed on Saturday Night Life (SNL):

Mock German Little Red Riding Hood

I just love this pseudo cross-language thingies:

Ein smallisch fraulein ben stayen mit der mama ein thicken woodser besiden. Der mama ben loven der fraulein und maken ein reddisch riden hood, mit warmen der earsers.

Acrossen der woodser der sicken grossmama ben liven. Reddisch Riden Hood been tooken ein boxen mit cheesen cakers and butter patters und starten der walken mit maken ein visiter.

Mitout warnen ein grosser wolfer ben uppen gecomen mit maken der talken. Reddisch Riden Hood ben tellen abouten der grossmama und outenpointen der housen, Das wolfer ben racen mit breaknecken speeded und reachen der housen firster.

Der grossmama ben hearen der knocken mit rapper-tappen und asken der namen.

"Reddisch Riden Hood mit cheese cakers und butter patters," das wolfer ben callen.

Der sicken grossmama ben yellen, "Flippen der latchen und insiden gecomen."

Das wolfer ben growlen mit bursten der dooren. Mit screamers der grossmama ben uppenleapen und der chasen ben starten. Ach! Ober und under der bedden und das roomen arounder gerunen mit nippen und tucken das hotten chasen ben proceeden!

In der meantimer Reddisch Riden Hood ben hoppen und skippen mit watchen der birdsers und smellen der bloomen budden und finaller reachen der housen. Der noisers ben raisen der roofen und der fraulein ben closer obercomen mit frighters.

Suddener der noises ben stoppen und der housen ben stillisch. Reddisch Riden Hood ben inpeepen der windowpaner. Mit smoothen der curlers, der grossmama iss licken der choppers.

"Cinderella Hassenpfeffer and Other Tales mein Grossfader Told" by Dave Morrah (New York: Rinehart & Co., Inc. 1948) pp. 14-16.

CWOT

Somewhile ago this was published as a scotish's pupil homework essay of her summer vaction. But see for yourself:

"My smmr hols wr CWOT. B4, we usd 2 go 2 NY 2C my bro, his GF & thr 3 :-@ kds FTF. ILNY, its gr8.

Bt my Ps wr so {:-/ BC o 9/11 tht they dcdd 2 stay in SCO & spnd 2wks up N.

Up N, WUCIWUG -- 0. I ws vvv brd in MON. 0 bt baas & ^^^^^.

AAR8, my Ps wr :-) -- they sd ICBW, & tht they wr ha-p 4 the pc&qt...IDTS!! I wntd 2 go hm ASAP, 2C my M8s again.

2day, I cam bk 2 skool. I feel v O:-) BC I hv dn all my hm wrk. Now its BAU ..."

... and that's the "translation" into plain, old-school English:

"My summer holidays were a complete waste of time. Before, we used to go to New York to see my brother, his girlfriend and their three screaming kids face to face. I love New York, it's a great place.

But my parents were so worried because of the terrorism attack on September 11 that they decided we would stay in Scotland and spend two weeks up north.

Up north, what you see is what you get - nothing. I was extremely bored in the middle of nowhere. Nothing but sheep and mountains.

At any rate, my parents were happy. They said that it could be worse, and that they were happy with the peace and quiet. I don't think so! I wanted to go home as soon as possible, to see my mates again.

Today I came back to school. I feel very saintly because I have done all my homework. Now it's business as usual..."

While other's claim it as a sign for the decline of people's language skill, I merely this either a temporary fashion or it'll be the style of the future communication. In the first case I don't really care, since it's gone in 5 years; if it's the second case then that's the way it is, and it's called evolution/progress. In the 18th century French was the language at Germany's courts, and many words from French spilled over into "proper" German. I don't hear any linguist complaining about that.

blinkenlights: /blink'@n·li:tz/, n

ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS!

Alles touristen und non-technischen looken peepers!
Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben.
Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken
mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen.
Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das
pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.