From Nightwatch to Daywatch

"I was beginning to understand her, not just as a professional target and a potential victim of a Dark Magician, not just as the unwitting cause of catastrophe, but as a person. An introverted, bookish child, with a mass of complexes and her head full of crazy ideals and a childish faith in the beautiful prince who was searching for her and would surely find her. Work as a doctor, a few girlfriends, a few male friends, and a great deal of loneliness. Conscientious work almost in the spirit of a builder of communism, occasional visits to the café and occasional loves.

And each evening like every one other, on the couch, with a book, with the phone lying besides her, with the television muttering something soapy and comforting. How many of you there still are, girls and boys of various ages, raised by naïve parents in the sixties. How many of you there are, so unhappy, not knowing how to be happy. How I long to take pity on you, how I long to help you. To touch you through the Twilight - gently, with no force at all. To give you just a little confidence in yourself, just a tiny bit of optimism, a gram of willpower, a crumb of irony. To help you, so that you could help other."

"Nightwatch" (p126) by Sergei Lukyanenko

So much truth (for me) in two paragraphs ...

P.S.: This from the russian novel "Nightwatch", not related the Danish film or the dutch painting by Rembrandt.

Mock German Little Red Riding Hood

I just love this pseudo cross-language thingies:

Ein smallisch fraulein ben stayen mit der mama ein thicken woodser besiden. Der mama ben loven der fraulein und maken ein reddisch riden hood, mit warmen der earsers.

Acrossen der woodser der sicken grossmama ben liven. Reddisch Riden Hood been tooken ein boxen mit cheesen cakers and butter patters und starten der walken mit maken ein visiter.

Mitout warnen ein grosser wolfer ben uppen gecomen mit maken der talken. Reddisch Riden Hood ben tellen abouten der grossmama und outenpointen der housen, Das wolfer ben racen mit breaknecken speeded und reachen der housen firster.

Der grossmama ben hearen der knocken mit rapper-tappen und asken der namen.

"Reddisch Riden Hood mit cheese cakers und butter patters," das wolfer ben callen.

Der sicken grossmama ben yellen, "Flippen der latchen und insiden gecomen."

Das wolfer ben growlen mit bursten der dooren. Mit screamers der grossmama ben uppenleapen und der chasen ben starten. Ach! Ober und under der bedden und das roomen arounder gerunen mit nippen und tucken das hotten chasen ben proceeden!

In der meantimer Reddisch Riden Hood ben hoppen und skippen mit watchen der birdsers und smellen der bloomen budden und finaller reachen der housen. Der noisers ben raisen der roofen und der fraulein ben closer obercomen mit frighters.

Suddener der noises ben stoppen und der housen ben stillisch. Reddisch Riden Hood ben inpeepen der windowpaner. Mit smoothen der curlers, der grossmama iss licken der choppers.

"Cinderella Hassenpfeffer and Other Tales mein Grossfader Told" by Dave Morrah (New York: Rinehart & Co., Inc. 1948) pp. 14-16.

CWOT

Somewhile ago this was published as a scotish's pupil homework essay of her summer vaction. But see for yourself:

"My smmr hols wr CWOT. B4, we usd 2 go 2 NY 2C my bro, his GF & thr 3 :-@ kds FTF. ILNY, its gr8.

Bt my Ps wr so {:-/ BC o 9/11 tht they dcdd 2 stay in SCO & spnd 2wks up N.

Up N, WUCIWUG -- 0. I ws vvv brd in MON. 0 bt baas & ^^^^^.

AAR8, my Ps wr :-) -- they sd ICBW, & tht they wr ha-p 4 the pc&qt...IDTS!! I wntd 2 go hm ASAP, 2C my M8s again.

2day, I cam bk 2 skool. I feel v O:-) BC I hv dn all my hm wrk. Now its BAU ..."

... and that's the "translation" into plain, old-school English:

"My summer holidays were a complete waste of time. Before, we used to go to New York to see my brother, his girlfriend and their three screaming kids face to face. I love New York, it's a great place.

But my parents were so worried because of the terrorism attack on September 11 that they decided we would stay in Scotland and spend two weeks up north.

Up north, what you see is what you get - nothing. I was extremely bored in the middle of nowhere. Nothing but sheep and mountains.

At any rate, my parents were happy. They said that it could be worse, and that they were happy with the peace and quiet. I don't think so! I wanted to go home as soon as possible, to see my mates again.

Today I came back to school. I feel very saintly because I have done all my homework. Now it's business as usual..."

While other's claim it as a sign for the decline of people's language skill, I merely this either a temporary fashion or it'll be the style of the future communication. In the first case I don't really care, since it's gone in 5 years; if it's the second case then that's the way it is, and it's called evolution/progress. In the 18th century French was the language at Germany's courts, and many words from French spilled over into "proper" German. I don't hear any linguist complaining about that.